Dear Reader, whoever you might be,
Now that I am recovered from the festivities and labor activities of the previous week, I feel up to tackling a serious subject … or attempting to, anyway.
What is adulthood?
There is the biological definition: one who is fully grown and developed.
And there is the legal definition: one who has reached the age of majority, which is in most contexts either 18 or 21.
But there is also a third definition that does not always go along with those mentioned above. This is a maturity of behaviour, of thought, of recognizing and accepting responsibilities. Some people think, or seem to think, that this form adulthood is magically granted by the Maturity Fairy, when one turns the age of 18. As such, they do not allow people below that age to make decisions for themselves, disapprove of people who do allow them.
This is illogical. Behavioural and mental maturity does not come from being told how to act. It comes from independence, from being allowed to make your own decisions and suffer the consequences of them. To learn from mistakes.
How is one to obtain the independence and the maturity of this adulthood if they are not allowed to think and act for themselves? If they are not trusted to make mistakes and grow from them, then how will they grow at all? How can they be relied upon? Trust is a two way street.
How do you raise responsible adults? You do as my parents did, and allow children to be responsible. Let kids be kids by allowing them to think and act for themselves, to grow naturally in mind as well as body. Do not tell them what to think; instead tell them what you think and why you think it—use logic. Listen to them. Respect them, even if you do not respect their beliefs, even if they are wrong. Especially if they are wrong. Because if they are truly wrong, and you respect them and allow them to act on their beliefs, then they will eventually come to realize their wrongness without a divide forming. And who knows, you might be the one who is in the wrong. Remember that possibility, that you are not infallible simply because you are older and have experienced.
Actually, I think this is how we should treat all people—not just children.
An aside: two hundred years ago, there were sixteen-year-olds in navies being given command of prize ships. In the middle ages there were fifteen-year-olds fighting and dying in battles—and not just because people lived shorter lives. In fact, if one survived the diseases and the war and reached forty years; then they were likely to live to sixty or seventy, some even reached eighty or above.
Anyway, these are my thoughts, the wonderings of Scribe Traceur. You might disagree, or you might agree. Either way I'll be respectful towards you, just so long as you are respectful towards me. If you become insulting, however, then I'll ignore you.
Go mbeannaí Dia duit,
M. S.
P. S. Yes, I'm aware I used the Brit spelling of behaviour. I often do the same with colour, grey, and many other words. I also use oxford commas. I'm sorry if that offends you, but I think they are more aesthetically pleasing than our American spellings. Shallow, I know, but sometimes form and function go hand in hand. And leaving out the oxford comma can cause unnecessary confusion.